IL divorce lawyerWhen parents split up, children can sometimes feel as if their entire world has been turned upside down. Divorce that involves a significant amount of contention is often especially hard on children. If you are a parent who is going through a high conflict divorce or you suspect that you soon will be, you are probably worried about how this will affect your kids. Poor performance in school, behavioral issues, low self-esteem, and other psychological consequences have been shown to result from parental conflict. However, there are things that you can do to reduce the negative effects of divorce on your children.

Use Caution When Telling the Children About the Divorce

The moment that your children learn that you and the other parent are divorcing may be one that they remember for the rest of their lives. It is important to plan out what you will say in advance. Most experts suggest that parents tell their children the news together, however, this may not be possible in a high conflict situation. The age of your children will determine the types of conversations that you can have about divorce, however, experts agree that it is best to tell them all at once. This prevents one child from having to keep a secret from the others.

Make sure to keep it fact-oriented and to avoid details about why the marriage is ending. Blaming the other spouse for the divorce or bad-mouthing him or her can make it much harder on the children. It may also lead to allegations of parental alienation. Focus on reassuring your children that they are loved and safe.

Keep Conversations About the Divorce Out of Earshot

Research shows that parental arguments and tension have a profound impact on children. A child’s mental health, future relationships, and overall emotional wellbeing can all be negatively impacted by family conflict. It is important to shield your children from conflict as much as possible during the divorce. Keep conversations with the other parent or your lawyer private. Do not fight in front of the children and never ask them to choose sides.

Create a Detailed Parenting Plan

During the divorce, you and the other parent will be expected to create a parenting plan. If you cannot reach an agreement, the court will determine a plan for you. The more detailed your plan is, the less room there is for disagreements in the future. An attorney experienced in high conflict divorce can help you negotiate a parenting plan and represent you during your child custody dispute.

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IL family lawyerDisagreements about financial issues is consistently ranked as one of the top reasons for divorce. Financial deception is also a common issue in marriages across the United States. Spouses may spend large quantities of money, hide assets, and rack up debt without the other spouse’s knowledge. The popularity of online banking has made it easier than ever to hide financial transactions from your spouse. If you are getting divorced and financial deception has been an issue for you in the past, it is important to take steps to ensure that you receive a fair divorce settlement.

Speak to a Lawyer As Soon As Possible

If your spouse has been dishonest or controlling about finances in the past, it is very likely that he or she will continue to do so during your divorce. Per Illinois divorce law, you deserve an “equitable” or fair share of the marital estate. However, you can only receive your fair share if you know what your fair share is. You also deserve child support and spousal support arrangements that are based on your actual financial circumstances. An attorney who is experienced in handling divorce cases involving complicated financial issues can help you uncover the truth. Your attorney may use a variety of techniques to get accurate and complete information about income, property, debt, and expenses during the divorce, including:

  • Requests for production
  • Depositions
  • Interrogatories
  • Admissions of fact

Gather Financial Documents and Information

In many marriages, one spouse handles the finances and the other spouse simply trusts him or her to do so ethically. Unfortunately, spouses do not always act with integrity when it comes to finances. If your spouse has lied about money-related concerns in the past, he or she may continue or even escalate this behavior during divorce. Your spouse may “forget” to report revenue from his or her small business, overstate his or her debts, or hide sources of income. One of the best ways that you can help your attorney is to start gathering financial documents as soon as possible. If possible, obtain copies of:

  • Tax returns
  • Mortgage statements
  • Bank statements
  • Pay stubs
  • Retirement account statements
  • Life insurance policies
  • Credit card statements
  • Bills
  • Investment accounts

Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer

If there have been issues with financial deception in your marriage and you want to get divorced, it is important to stand up for your right to a fair divorce settlement. At Shaw Family Law, P.C., we know the strategies that spouses use to hide assets and lie about finances during divorce. A St. Charles divorce attorney from our firm can find hidden assets and unveil other financial dishonesty so that you can get a divorce settlement that is based on the truth. Call us at

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IL family lawyerFor many married couples, it can be hard to know when to officially call it quits. Many couples consider divorce for months or even years before they make the decision to end the marriage. You may find yourself in that situation now. Perhaps you are unhappy in your marriage but you still hope that things can change. In situations like these, many couples decide to undergo a “trial separation.” If you are interested in temporarily separating from your spouse, it is crucial that you know the potential legal and financial ramifications.

An Information Separation Is Not a Legal Separation

People often use the word “separation” in reference to both living apart and getting legally separated. However, these are two completely different situations in the eyes of the law. If you are living apart from your spouse, this alone does not change the status of your relationship. A legal separation, on the other hand, involves a legal action. If you get legally separated, you and your spouse will formally decide on issues like the division of assets and debts, parenting time and parental responsibilities, child support, and spousal support. You can reach an agreement about these issues outside of court, or if you cannot reach an agreement, the court will hand down a decision. The only issue that Illinois courts cannot determine during a legal separation is property distribution.

An Informal Separation Can Leave You Vulnerable During Divorce

If you and your spouse decide to live apart for some time while you work out your differences, you should know the impact this can have on your finances and your potential future divorce. Simply living in separate homes does not afford you legal protections the way a legal separation does. For example, if your spouse racks up a great deal of debt during the trial separation, you could still be on the hook for repaying it. Courts also cannot enforce any informal arrangements you make about child support or spousal support.

You should also know that the child custody arrangements you decide on during the trial separation can influence future child custody decisions if you divorce. Illinois courts aim to make divorce as easy on children as possible. This means that they are more likely to favor the “status quo” as opposed to a new custody arrangement. For example, if your spouse kept the children during the school week during your trial separation and you decide to divorce, the court may favor keeping the custody arrangement the same.

Contact a St. Charles Divorce Lawyer

If you want to learn more about legal separation or divorce, contact Shaw Family Law, P.C. A Kane County family law attorney can help with matters related to child custody, property division, child support, and more. Call 630-584-5550 for a free, confidential consultation.

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IL divorce lawyerWe cannot control when we meet the man or woman of our dreams. Sometimes, a married individual meets someone else and decides to leave his or her spouse for their new partner. If you are planning to divorce your spouse and begin a new relationship with someone else, you may wonder how this situation will influence your divorce proceedings. There are several ways that a new romantic partner can affect your divorce – legally and personally – so obtaining legal guidance from an experienced divorce attorney is highly recommended in this situation.

Dissipation of Assets

Illinois is a no-fault divorce state. This means that there are not fault-based grounds for divorce. Marital infidelity does not automatically influence an individual’s divorce settlement. However, there are ways that your extramarital relationship can significantly impact your divorce. Dissipation of assets occurs when a married person uses funds or property on a purpose not related to the marriage while the marriage is undergoing a “breakdown.” If you spent a substantial amount of money on your new boyfriend or girlfriend at the end of your marriage, your spouse may file a dissipation claim against you and you may be required to reimburse him or her for the funds you spent on your new partner.

Spousal Support and Child Support

If you choose to get remarried to your new partner after your divorce, you should know that this can affect child support or spousal maintenance. Illinois spousal support automatically ends when the recipient gets remarried. Spousal support or “alimony” is eligible for termination if the recipient is cohabitating with a romantic partner. Your new partner’s financial support may also influence your child support order. If you receive child support, your partner’s income could result in you having more disposable income. This means that your ex-spouse could request a child support modification and may be eligible for a reduced child support obligation.

Personal Implications

Divorce is never easy, but it is often especially dramatic when someone leaves their spouse for a new boyfriend or girlfriend. Your spouse may be heartbroken or angry about the split. He or she may take this out on you by refusing to agree to a divorce settlement or unnecessarily dragging out the divorce proceedings. The best way to handle this complicated situation is to speak with a divorce attorney early in the process. Your attorney can help you prepare for divorce and help the split go as smoothly as possible.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer

If you are ready to end your marriage, contact a skilled St. Charles, IL divorce attorney from Shaw Family Law, P.C. Our team understands that your situation is complicated and we are ready to help. Call 630-584-5550 and schedule a free, confidential consultation today.

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IL divorce lawyerArguments about finances are common among married couples. However, there are some situations in which money becomes a tool that an abusive spouse uses to control and manipulate the other spouse. Financial abuse is not discussed as frequently as physical abuse, but the consequences of financial abuse can be just severe as physical violence. If you have been a victim of financial abuse and are planning to end your marriage, you should know about the ways that financial abuse can impact your divorce.

When Control Over Money Crosses the Line

Many people like to keep track of their income and expenses, stick to a budget, and have tight control over their finances. However, there are times when control over finances becomes abusive. Financial abuse is typically defined as controlling a person’s ability to obtain, use, or save money or property. It may also involve stealing or withholding funds or property from the rightful owner. Some signs that you may be a victim of financial abuse at the hand of your spouse include:

  • Your spouse spends money you have earned without your consent
  • Your spouse insists on having your bank passwords and other financial data
  • Your spouse demands that you turn over your paychecks to him or her
  • Your spouse requires you to ask permission to spend even a small amount of money or gives you an “allowance”
  • Your spouse does not allow you to work or make your own money
  • Your spouse makes all of the financial decisions without your input
  • Your spouse uses threats, intimidation, or violence in order to access or control your money
  • Your spouse sabotages your efforts to become more financially independent

Divorce Involving a History of Financial Exploitation or Manipulation

If you are planning to divorce and you have been a victim of financial abuse, you need to take steps to protect your rights during divorce. If it is safe to do so, gather copies of important financial documents like tax returns and credit card statements. Consult with a divorce lawyer experienced in handling cases involving financial intimidation or domestic abuse. Your lawyer can provide legal support throughout your divorce. He or she will protect your rights and make sure that you are not tricked into a divorce settlement that is lower than what you deserve.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer

If you are planning to divorce and you have been a victim of financial abuse, you need a strong advocate on your side. Contact a St. Charles divorce attorney from Shaw Family Law, P.C. for dependable legal guidance at every step in the divorce process. Our team can help with property and debt division, child custody, child support, and much more. Call our office at 630-584-5550 and schedule a free consultation.

 

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