IL family lawyerDeciding to get a divorce is often discussed at length by both spouses. Many couples will make a pro-con list to compare the good things in the relationship to the bad ones. Most parents think that getting a divorce will adversely affect their children; however, this is often not the case. Studies have shown that it is better for children to grow up in a household where they have examples of healthy relationships, even if this means realizing that what is best for their parents is to be apart. Just because this is usually best does not make breaking the news to your children any less difficult. Continue reading to learn about the best way to tell your child that you and your spouse are getting divorced.

Telling Tips

Telling your children that you and your spouse are filing for divorce is difficult no matter the circumstances. The following tips may not make it easier to tell your children the truth; however, it will help your child in the long-run.

  • Tell Your Kids Together: This is a fairly obvious tactic that is crucial while talking to your children about divorce. It can be confusing if one parent shares the information with the child without the other parent being present. This can give children the idea that they are losing a parent rather than adjusting lifestyles.
  • Provide Your Child with Details: Before you have this conversation with your child, the details of the divorce should already have been discussed. For instance, you should be able to tell them who will be living where, what your parenting schedule might look like, and how day-to-day life will go. These do not have to be set in stone but they can help make the child feel less unstable.
  • Rehearse Your Lines: It is advantageous to plan out what you are going to say before speaking to your children. If you do not think about it beforehand, your emotions can get the best of you and you and your spouse’s decision may not be clear enough for the child.
  • Utilize Your Weekends: Hearing the news that your parents are filing for divorce can be confusing and devastating to children. It is best to tell them the news on a weekend day when they can have time to digest and reflect on the information they just received without having to worry about attending school or extracurricular activities.

Contact a St. Charles, IL Divorce Attorney

Divorce is difficult on the personal lives of all those involved. For this reason, it is important to find an experienced divorce attorney to take the legal stresses off of your shoulders. If you are considering divorce, contact a skilled Kane County divorce attorney at 630-584-5550 for a free consultation.

 

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IL family lawyerGetting married and starting a family is ingrained in Western cultures, especially in the United States. By the age of 50, 90 percent of people have been married at least once. Due to the high percentage of individuals who decide to get married, there is also a large divorce rate. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, divorce rates are not as high as many think. 3.2 people out of every 1000 individuals go through divorce. Divorce rates may be decreasing; however, they will never become obsolete. Continue reading to learn different ways to avoid divorce whether you are on the path to your wedding or have already said “I do."

Avoiding Divorce

Love Is Not Ageless: Studies have repeatedly shown that getting married as a teenager is extremely risky. This is not only due to the lack of relationship experience but also the lack of financial security. Money problems can bring even the best relationships under extreme duress. After a certain point, divorce rates begin to increase as age does. Statistics show that the best age window to tie the knot is between 28 and 32.

Power Dynamics: One of the most important aspects of any relationships is equality. No one wants to feel like they have zero control over their romantic life. This sense of power can be in terms of finances, decision making, and many other aspects of a relationship. It is crucial to find a balance to maintain an equal power dynamic between you and your partner.

Communication Is Key: This is a pretty universal piece of advice that often gets lost in translation. It is easy to respond to your partner’s rude comment with an equally insulting one. Instead of nitpicking each other and creating a cycle of bad attitudes, it is better to be upfront with your partner about your feelings and emotions.

Change Is Not Always for the Better: Studies have shown that opposites attract meaning that a person’s unique qualities are what draws you in. However, once the “newness” of a relationship wears off, many of these quirks begin to lose their luster. One must remember that trying to “change” your partner is a recipe for disaster. You may spend most of your time together but this does not mean that you should begin to become each other.

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IL divorce lawyerWhen married relationships are no longer working for either spouse, most couples separate for a period of time before seeking out divorce. Most states require a couple’s separation, that is living under separate roofs, for a specific period of time before divorce can be initiated. The purpose of this forced separation is to allow each spouse to see what their life would be like without their significant other in order to decide if this is the best choice for them. While divorce is one of the most common answers if a couple is unhappy in their marriage, legal separation is also a valid response.

Legal Separation

If a couple is considering separation for a long period of time, a written agreement regarding their assets, debt, alimony payments, child custody, and visitation rights is advantageous for both spouses. While living under separate roofs and leading different lives may seem like a good way to move on, without legal documentation both spouses are still on the hook for the other’s finances. This includes debt incurred by either spouse.

Many couples decide to become legally separated for financial reasons as separation can have financial benefits for both parties. Some couples will use a legal separation agreement to reach the 10-year marriage requirement for social security benefits. If a marriage has lasted 10 years, a divorced spouse who has not remarried is eligible to receive such benefits later in life. Continuing under the same health insurance is also another advantage of legal separation. Many businesses will continue covering a separated spouse; however, it is crucial that you check the fine print of your healthcare plan as this is not always a guarantee. Legal separation can also lead to potential benefits when filing taxes. Sometimes couples, or ex-couples, can save money by filing their taxes jointly. This is also not always a guarantee but can be better determined with the help of an attorney.

Divorce

Divorce agreements include much of the same details regarding assets, debt, alimony payments, child custody, and visitation rights, yet all ties between the spouses become severed. Divorce agreements are also immutable. Once the papers are signed by both parties, the marriage is officially done. Divorce is most common because many couples wish to meet someone new after the ending of their marriage. If a couple is legally separated, they cannot get remarried and remain separated. A divorce is required. Many opt for divorce in order to completely disconnect themselves from their spouse and move on from their previous marriage.

Contact a St. Charles, IL Family Lawyer for Help

Divorce is a common result of unhappy marriages everywhere. However, many couples opt for legal separation because of the personal and financial benefits. Simply living in different houses does not qualify as legal separation. Couples must seek out an experienced legal separation attorney to hammer out the details. If you are looking to formulate a legal separation agreement, contact a skilled Kane County legal separation attorney for professional help at 630-584-5550.

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IL divorce lawyerSubstance abuse is one of the most common reasons why couples decide to divorce. With over 20 million Americans over the age of 12 suffering from addiction, substance abuse has become an epidemic throughout America. Individuals who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction can end up hurting their spouses and children mentally, physically, and emotionally. Many spouses will attempt to seek help for their addicted partner. While rehabilitation does work for some, many continue to have issues in the long-run. Continue reading to see how substance abuse can affect divorce if your spouse struggles with addiction.

Areas of Divorce Affected By Addiction

  • Child Custody: This is one of the primary areas in which addiction can have extreme ramifications. High intakes of drugs and/or alcohol can greatly impair one’s mental state, making it nearly impossible for a parent to fully care for their child. If one parent has struggled with substance abuse, the other parent is almost guaranteed full custody. One of the only ways in which the judge can be swayed is if said parent is actively participating in rehabilitation and is showing serious improvement.
  • Marital Assets: Judges attempt to divide marital assets as evenly as possible, though it may not always appear as such. Marital asset division is not necessarily dependent on each spouse’s everyday behavior, but rather their financial tendencies. If one spouse has spent a significant amount of the couple’s savings to feed their addiction, it is not uncommon for a judge to allocate more assets to the other spouse to make up for the finances that have been lost.
  • Negotiation of Settlements: Often times the spouse who struggles with addiction will not put up much of a fight throughout the negotiation of settlements. Judges take drug and alcohol addiction seriously when making divorce decisions and public knowledge of substance abuse can damage an individual’s reputation and career and potentially result in criminal charges depending on the severity of the situation.

Contact a St. Charles, IL Divorce Attorney for Help

If you are in the process of parting ways with your addicted spouse, it is important to have an attorney who will fight to win custody and a fair division of assets throughout the divorce proceedings. At Shaw Family Law, P.C. we understand that divorce from a spouse with a drug or alcohol addiction can be an emotional and difficult time for everyone involved which is why we work with your best interests at heart. Contact a seasoned Kane County divorce attorney for help winning the battle for the safety of yourself and your children.

 

Sources:

https://beginningstreatment.com/substance-abuse-and-divorce/

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IL divorce lawyerDivorce is difficult no matter the circumstances. While divorce may have been legally difficult in the past due to societal values, divorce in the digital age can prove just as troublesome. Social media can become a face-less platform for one to publicly or privately vent about their marriage difficulties or impending divorce based on their account privacy settings. Whether your account settings are placed on private or not does not necessarily mean you are fully protected from your spouse or their attorney discovering your posts.

Privacy Protection

Switching your profile from public to private does not guarantee that your social media posts will not make it into your divorce proceedings. Use the following tips to better protect yourself in the digital age:

  1. Change your passwords often: Many use similar passwords for all of their accounts because they are easy to remember. Though this tactic may make logins easier for the account’s owner, it also makes it easier for others to hack into their account, especially those who are close to them. Changing passwords frequently is an easy way to block intruders from hacking into bank accounts, emails, and social media platforms.

  2. Look at your security settings: Though making your account private does not guarantee complete safety, it is a step in the right direction. Onlookers can misconstrue comments and posts for their advantage even if you believe that your social media is “clean” for others to look at.

  3. Watch your words: Email communication may not be as commonplace; however, it can still lead to your downfall in court. A judge can request email history for evidence, making anything you have said through the online forum public to your spouse.

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