Selecting your legal team for your divorce is one of the most important steps that you can take. Without adequate legal assistance, you may not receive proper alimony, child support, or custody when you and your former spouse’s belongings get divvied up. Most couples getting divorced will each select their own attorney who will then work solely in the best interests of the spouse that hired them. Because this is a common choice for many divorces, some couples do not realize that alternative options exist. Divorce mediation has become increasingly popular as modern times have removed the age-old negative stigma that used to surround the idea of divorce.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is an alternative to divorce litigation. Divorce mediators are typically a branch of attorneys at a law firm that specializes in both litigation and mediation. A mediator is a neutral third-party that meets with both spouses to make divorce arrangements. Unlike common divorce proceedings, the goal of mediation is to come to an agreement together rather than having two opposing sides pitted against each other.

This divorce process is commonly chosen by couples that are having an amicable divorce. In other words, divorce mediation only works for couples that can do not have grievances against each other and have come to the mutual decision that divorce would be best for them both. This is not always possible which is why mediation only works for some couples. The purpose of the third-party is not to take one side over the other or add their input. They act as a middle ground with legal knowledge and experience in order to conduct the legal process when the agreements have been finalized by both parties.

Why Would I Choose Mediation Over Litigation?

As previously noted, mediation can be a lower conflict way to finalize your divorce; however, this is only the case with some parties. Divorce mediation can be cheaper for each spouse since a single legal team is involved rather than two opposing attorneys. The process can also be quicker depending on the length of time it takes for both spouses to come to an agreement. Divorce mediation often takes an average of 3 to 5 months to complete whereas divorce litigation can take over a year to complete. Those who decide that divorce mediation is best will also reduce the number of court filings required for their divorce to be finalized. Divorce mediation is a good alternative to litigation as it can foster a good co-parenting relationship in the future or a positive parting with an amicable sense of closure.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Mediation Attorney for Help

Divorce mediation is a good alternative that is often overlooked or unknown by couples seeking divorce. At Shaw Family Law, P.C., we offer both divorce litigation and mediation in order to serve and accommodate couples with all different types of relationships. If you are looking for alternative options for your divorce, contact St. Charles, IL divorce mediation attorneys at 630-584-5550 for a free consultation.

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Posted on in Mediation

IL family lawyerDivorce mediation is an alternative to battling out your divorce agreements through the court system. This is a good choice for those who find that they can talk their divorce through in a peaceful and non-argumentative manner. Couples who decide that mediation is best for them are not those going through a divorce because they have personal issues with their spouse, but rather it is for couples who amicably agree that their marriage is no longer the best option. Selecting mediation as your divorce method forces both partners to put emotions aside and be mature about every aspect of the ending to their marriage. It is done in a neutral setting with a lawyer present and encourages both parties to talk out their differences rather than arguing in front of a judge. While divorce mediation does have benefits, it can also result badly for some couples.

Advantages of Mediation

  • Less expensive: Divorce mediation is often less costly. Usually one attorney will be present throughout the mediation process and rather than paying to wait in court, spouses will be paying for time allotted solely to their mediation session.
  • You have control: A typical divorce procedure leaves little to no control in the hands of those getting divorced. Though they have some say in the matter, a judge makes the final decisions. Mediation allows for the couple to make decide what is best for the both of you, with a mediation attorney there to keep things on track.
  • Greater confidentiality: Because divorce mediation occurs in private, your business stays your business. Those who decide against divorce mediation will have their marriage problems being discussed in front of a courtroom of legal employees.

Disadvantages of Mediation

  • Waste of money: Though mediation can be a cheaper option for couples seeking a divorce, it can result in wasted time or money. If the two parties cannot come to an agreement within the time set aside, they will have to start all over with the little progress that has been made.
  • Allow the partnership’s behavioral patterns to take over: Every couple has certain traits common to each member, usually resulting in one partner having more control than the other. If one partner is more submissive than the other, it will likely result in the other spouse receiving what they want more frequently.
  • Emotions running high: Divorce is an emotional time for all parties involved, making it difficult to set emotions aside. Though mediation is a successful alternative to many couples, others can find that putting control into their hands can lead to emotional results.

Contact Our Kane County Mediation Attorney

Our Kane County mediation attorney has experience helping couples come to an amicable agreement in regards to their divorce. If you are considering mediation, call our office at 630-584-5550 to discuss whether or not you would make a good candidate for divorce mediation. Though mediation may not be for everyone, we find that with the help of our mediation attorney, many couples successfully talk through their divorce without involving a judge.

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IL family lawyerWhen a couple chooses to divorce through mediation, they work with a neutral third party to develop their divorce settlement. Usually, mediation is a less expensive, less stressful option than divorce in the courtroom.

Mediation only works when a couple is capable of working amicably together. Sometimes, couples who initially think they can mediate their divorce successfully find that it is a much different process than they envisioned. If you face challenges with your mediation, take the following steps to determine your best course of action:

Talk to Your Spouse About Your Issues to Work Them Out

Address your difficulties with your spouse directly. If you feel he or she is not taking the mediation process as seriously as you are or that he or she is not being cooperative, talk about it. Successful mediation is only possible when both partners are willing to communicate and cooperate. Your spouse might not realize he or she is being difficult or stalling the mediation process, or he or she might be unwilling to move forward and actively trying to sabotage it.

The issue could also be with you and your approach to mediation. The only way to determine whether it is worthwhile to continue pursuing mediation is to determine whether you and your spouse are both 100 percent on board with it. If not, mediation is not for you.

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b2ap3_thumbnail_mediator.jpgOnce you and your spouse have determined that you are a good fit for divorce mediation, you need to find a mediator who is a good fit for you. In order to find the right mediator for your case, you will need to do some research. Look up divorce mediators in your area and read their reviews online. Schedule a consultation with a few mediators to get a better sense of each of their approaches to the mediation process and how they can help you. Arrive at each consultation with the following questions prepared:

What Will It Cost to Work with You?

The average divorce mediation costs $7,000. That might sound like a lot, but compare it to the average cost of divorce litigation: $25,000 or more.

Ask your prospective mediator what it will cost to work with him or her before you sign a contract to work together. He or she should be able to give you a reasonable quote that you can compare with other mediators’ costs.

How Do You Conduct Mediation Sessions?

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Posted on in Mediation

illinois divorce attorneyIf you and your spouse decide to complete the divorce process through mediation, you will work with a divorce mediator to reach an appropriate, equitable divorce settlement. Although many divorce mediators are lawyers, your divorce mediator will not act in this role. Rather, he or she will act as a neutral third party who does not work “for” you or your spouse, but for a fair resolution to your divorce.

The Mediator Is There to Guide You Toward a Fair Settlement

In mediation, you and your spouse work with the mediator to reach agreements about your divorce settlement. The mediator acts as a guide to these conversations, asking questions about your marriage and divorce goals and helping you and your spouse work through your disagreements. You and your spouse will negotiate with each other under the mediator’s guidance.

A Mediator Asks Questions to Provoke Thought and Gain Insight

Arrive at your mediation sessions prepared to answer questions. The questions you could receive include:

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