All new parents experience nervousness before finally having their child, especially with a 9-month waiting period. Adoptive parents have the same pre-day jitters though they usually have a much longer waiting period. This additional time can intensify the anxiety since adoptive parents are not actively involved in the child’s birth. Though the preparation may be slightly different for adoptive parents, there are measures that can be taken to fill the time spent waiting for their child.

• Enjoy your child-less freedom while you can: Many couples look forward to the change in lifestyle that a child will bring to their relationship. Though adopting a child is an exciting new addition to a relationship, many parents do not realize just how much their lives will change once a child is added to the mix. Go on the vacation you have always dreamed of or throw a loud party at your house because soon your life will become less selfish and more selfless for the sake of your child.
• Spend time getting to know your child: This may seem like a silly thing to do since you will get to know your child when your adoption is official; however, it is important to know your child’s previous life and background. Having a good understanding their background aids adoptive parents in formulating their parenting styles and having a greater understanding of their child.
• Set up a support system in advance: Many new parents do not realize how difficult raising a child can be. While parenting is extremely rewarding, it can be a challenge to manage alone. It is important to have a support system in place before you pick up your child in order to make the lifestyle transition easier.
• Mentally prepare yourself for the child’s adjustment: Adopting a child is one of the most exciting days of a parent’s life. Though you may be ready for your child to come home, children usually take time to adjust to the new lifestyle. Being mentally prepared for slight discomfort from your child is crucial in handling the situation as it happens. Some parents will send the child care packages before the adoption day to begin the acclimation process.

Contact an Illinois Adoption Attorney for Help

If you are considering adoption, legal help is necessary to ease the sometimes lengthy process. At Shaw Family Law, P.C., we understand that adoption can be a difficult and emotional process for all the people involved. Our firm helps relieve the stress of the legal portion of the process so that families can enjoy the rest of it. Contact our Kane County adoption attorneys for a free consultation at 630-584-5550.

Source:

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/features/essential-tips-for-adoptive-parents#1

Battered wife syndrome, also known as battered woman syndrome, does not only affect women. It can affect any domestic violence victim, male or female, who lives with an abusive partner. Domestic violence knows no gender.

Despite the law and the medical community recognizing that a person of any gender can perpetuate and suffer domestic violence, the term “battered woman syndrome” is still frequently used to describe the psychological effects domestic violence can have on a victim.

The Stages of Battered Wife Syndrome

When an individual faces domestic violence, he or she can internalize it and feel like he or she caused it to happen. This internalization and sense of responsibility for the violence is battered wife syndrome. Generally, it follows this pattern:

• Denial. The victim refuses to accept that he or she is being abused;
• Guilt. The victim recognizes the abuse and feels he or she caused it;
• Enlightenment. When the victim realizes he or she did not cause the violence to happen, he or she is in the enlightenment stage; and
• Responsibility. In this stage, the victim recognizes that only his or her abuser is responsible for the violence. This is where the victim leaves the relationship.

Not all victims make it to the enlightenment stage. Many stay in the guilt stage, feeling like they caused their abuse to happen and trying to be better partners to make the violence stop.

Many people are familiar with the various types of domestic violence, such as physical abuse, psychological abuse, and financial abuse. Not quite as many are familiar with the term “spiritual abuse,” which refers to the use of religion as a way to control another individual’s actions and diminish his or her agency. Spiritual abuse can be perpetuated by a church leader against a congregation member, a parent against a child, or a spouse against a partner.

Signs of Spiritual Abuse

Spiritual abuse can be difficult to recognize because it often invokes religious principles as justifications for violence and control. Individuals who practice any religion can face spiritual abuse. In a marriage, spiritual abuse can arise out of the gendered power imbalance many religions perpetuate.

A few examples of spiritual abuse include:

• Prohibiting a spouse from working, opening a credit card, or accessing funds with religious justification;
• Using one’s role as the home’s “spiritual leader” to exert authority over how a spouse speaks, dresses, interacts with others, and practices religion;
• Using religion to isolate a spouse from his or her friends and family;
• Exerting sexual control over a spouse, citing religious justification for doing so; and
• Using guilt and shame to coerce a spouse into behaving in a specific way, claiming that he or she is not living according to their religion if he or she does not obey.

Read these statements again but this time, remove any reference to religious justification. If something is abusive when it happens without religious justification, it is just as abusive when it is done in the name of religion.

Choosing to adopt a child is a life-changing decision for both the potential parents and the child. Though you may have made up your mind about adopting, the process involves much more than just a signature on paper. One of the first choices that must be made is the type of adoption you wish to have. Common misconceptions about domestic and international adoptions often lead people into selecting the latter; however, many people fail to realize that international adoption is not always the best choice for every family.

Cost

Many people believe that international adoption costs far less than domestic adoption, but this is often not the case. According to Adoptive Families’ 2016 survey, the average cost to adopt from China was $36,070, Ethiopia was $38,667, and South Korea was $46,412. These are three of the most popular countries to adopt from, with China taking the lead at 2,354 adoptions to the U.S. in 2015. That same year, the average cost for domestic adoption through an attorney totaled $34,594.

Many people fail to recognize the travel and medical expenses that are involved in international adoptions. Often times the adoptive parents must get vaccinated, along with their future child, and make multiple trips to their future child’s country of origin. Travel and medical expenses greatly increase the cost of international adoptions.

Timing

When an individual is unhappy with his or her marriage, the obvious solution is for him or her to file for divorce. In some cases, the individual has another option: annulment. An annulment is different from a divorce in that it officially breaks down an invalid marriage, rather than legally dismantling a legitimate one. Annulments are rare in Illinois, but a judge may award one when an individual provides sufficient documentation to show that he or she is in an invalid marriage.

If you are in an invalid marriage, meaning that the marriage is not legally binding for some reason, an annulment is a way to officially recognize that the marriage is invalid and relieve you of any obligations you face related to it. In most cases, each party simply reverts to the lifestyle he or she led before the marriage, complete with his or her separate assets, after an annulment. When necessary, the court may create a property division or spousal maintenance order for a couple annulling their marriage. Any children born into an invalid marriage have the same rights as children born to married and unmarried parents.

Valid Reasons to Annul a Marriage in Illinois

In Illinois, a marriage may be annulled for any of the following reasons:

• One spouse cannot engage in sexual intercourse;
• The couple is closely related to each other;
• One spouse or both spouses were already married to another person when the marriage was performed;
• One or both spouses were underage and did not have parental permission to marry when the marriage was performed;
• At least one spouse was unable to consent to the marriage due to mental incapacity, duress, or being under the influence of drugs when the marriage was performed; and
• One or both spouses entered the marriage fraudulently. An example of a fraudulent marriage is one where a resident alien marries a citizen to avoid deportation.

Certain Grounds Have Time Limits for Annulments