Staying Together for the Sake of the Children

Posted on in Divorce

Illinois family law attorney, Illinois divorce lawyerThere is no greater dilemma for parents exploring the possibility of divorce than deciding whether or not to go through with the process for the sake of the children. There is much at stake where kids are concerned when deciding to end a marriage. Everything must be taken into account, including the immediate emotional and mental effects, to how the split will impact the children in the future, as the years go on.

Should You Stay or Should You Go?

The question of whether staying together is in the children’s best interests is a difficult one to answer, but one thing is certain: There are a number of diverse opinions on the matter, but ultimately only you, the parent, can decide if it is time to say when, or if it will work in everyone’s favor to remain a family unit despite the marital conflict.

Psychologists suggest examining the following as you explore whether divorce is the right decision for your family:

Consider the ways divorce would negatively affect your children.

Undeniably, there is an increase in stress for the entire the family following divorce. Everything from financial pressures and new living arrangements to worries about the future takes its toll on everyone, and children often experience high anxiety levels, depression, and various behavioral and emotional issues. These issues can have long-lasting, negative effects if healthy coping mechanisms are not learned early on in the grieving process.

Ask yourself if you want to stay together for the right reasons.

It is not uncommon for parents to use the children as an excuse to remain in an unhappy marriage, when in reality, they are avoiding larger, more deep-rooted marital issues and are simply not ready to address them. The key to determining whether or not you are really staying together for the kids is to ask yourself if it is truly your child’s well being you are worried about, or whether you are avoiding the changes and discomfort that will come with choosing to end the marriage.

Can divorce have a positive effect on your children, and if so, does the positive outweigh the negative?

Psychologists tell us that divorce for the sake of the children can indeed be positive, but it is the circumstances that we should factor into the equation. If the marriage is chaotic, turbulent, abusive, or downright miserable, a divorce can come as a relief to children caught up in the whirlwind of a toxic environment. The kids can also enjoy a less stressful life at home and have better, more solid quality time with each parent after the family has split.

Navigating the ins and outs of divorce and the benefits and disadvantages for the children is never an easy task. With the right resources and a reliable support system, however, you can overcome the obstacles that are keeping you from making the best decision for your family. Should you decide divorce is the right path, working with a competent Kane County divorce lawyer can help ease your stress and equip you with the representation you need to protect your rights as a parent. Call Shaw Sanders, P.C., P.C today at 630-584-5550 for a personal consultation.



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