How Can We Fix Our Marriage?

Posted on in Divorce

IL divorce lawyerEvery marriage has its ups and downs. Communication differences, differences in life goals and lifestyle needs, infidelity, addiction, and financial distress can all challenge a couple to the point of making them consider divorce. In many of these cases, the couple does divorce. In others, the couple chooses to remain together, sometimes in a miserable relationship and in other cases, happily and successfully after making an effort to resolve the conflicts that drove them apart.

Couples who successfully recover from marital distress do so by employing effective conflict resolution strategies. The most effective way for you and your spouse to learn more about these strategies and how to employ them in your life is to work with an experienced marital counselor.

Actions that Will Not Fix Your Marriage

Some couples attempt to fix their marriages with significant life changes like moving to a new state or having a baby. In most cases, these are not effective ways to resolve marital difficulties because they do not address the couple’s existing conflicts, they only mask them. Additionally, certain life-changing actions like having a new baby only increase a couple’s stress level, pushing their marriage closer to divorce instead of strengthening it.

Actions that Can Fix Your Marriage

Resolving the difficulties that pushed your marriage to the brink of divorce can help you fix your relationship. Depending on the specific challenges present in your marriage, this could mean:

  • Working with a financial advisor to learn how to budget effectively and eliminate your debt;
  • Completing an anger management course;
  • Unlearning harmful thought patterns;
  • Developing new, productive communication techniques and learning how to “fight fair;”
  • Completing a substance addiction rehabilitation program;
  • Learning new conflict resolution strategies; and/or
  • Making changes in your career to strike a better work/life balance.

You Both Have to Want to Fix Your Marriage

This is true in every challenged marriage. One partner cannot fix a marriage alone. To successfully rehabilitate a marriage, both partners have to be willing to:

  • Listen to the other’s perspective;
  • Forgive the other’s transgressions;
  • Prioritize the relationship and the work involved in building and maintaining a strong marriage;
  • Work to overcome his or her personal difficulties that negatively impact the marriage;
  • Learn new strategies for effective communication and conflict resolution; and
  • Hold him- or herself accountable for his or her own actions.

When only one partner is interested in fixing a marriage, divorce is often inevitable. If you are in this position, do not feel like it is a personal failure. You cannot make your partner want to repair your marriage.

Work with an Experienced St. Charles Divorce Lawyer

Sometimes, a couple can recover from marital difficulties and rebuild their marriage to be stronger than it was before. In other cases, divorce is the healthiest choice for both partners and their children. If you are not sure whether divorce is the right choice for you, schedule a consultation with an experienced Kane County divorce lawyer by contacting Shaw Sanders, P.C. today. Call us today at 630-584-5550 for help.



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