How Divorce Can Be Healthy for Children

Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce lawyerSome couples believe they should hold off on their divorces until their children are grown. It can be easy to see why a couple would think this way – divorce can be stressful for children, having a parenting plan means the children do not get to see both parents every day, both parents have to face the stresses of parenting individually, and when one parent finds a new partner, conflicts can arise and create wedges within the family. These are all legitimate challenges divorced couples face, but none of them are a good reason to forgo exiting an unhealthy marriage until one’s children are adults.

Why? Because when a marriage is marred by constant conflict, divorce is the healthiest solution for every member of the family. In fact, it is better for children to experience a divorce and grow up with healthy, functional parents than it is for them to grow up in “intact” families where fighting and stress are the norm.

Constant Exposure to Conflict Is Unhealthy for Children

When there is tension in a household, everybody is affected. Even babies and toddlers pick up on their parents’ conflicts and feel secondhand stress. Children who grow up watching their parents constantly fight and fail to resolve their conflicts appropriately can internalize harmful ideas about relationships and develop unhealthy coping mechanisms for dealing with household stress. If children are not taught how to resolve conflicts appropriately and instead, spend their days watching their parents fight, they can repeat the harmful patterns that drive the conflict in their homes.

Divorced Couples Who Co-Parent Effectively Set a Healthy Example

In contrast, divorced parents who communicate effectively and model productive conflict resolution strategies teach their children a lot about healthy relationships and coping with difficulties.

After a divorce, children do best when they have consistent, stable relationships with both their parents. The benefits of a healthy relationship far outweigh the benefits of living in a dual-income household or seeing both parents every day.

As a divorced parent, one of the best things you can do for your children is learning how to co-parent with your former spouse productively. Communicate with your former spouse about your thoughts and concerns about your children, respect his or her parenting decisions, and make it a priority to interact in positive ways when the children are present.

Work with an Experienced St. Charles Divorce Lawyer

If your marriage is not a healthy one, divorce is the right choice for you, your spouse, and your children. How you handle the divorce with your spouse and with your children will have a significant impact on how your children react to the news and the lifestyle changes divorce brings. To gain a deeper understanding of this and learn more about the divorce process, call an experienced Kane County divorce lawyer today. Contact Shaw Sanders, P.C. to set up your initial consultation with our firm. Do not hesitate to reach out for help by calling 630-584-5550.



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