Strategies that Will Not Save Your Marriage

Posted on in Divorce

Illinois divorce lawyerFew couples head straight for divorce when their marriages become difficult. Instead, many try to work out their difficulties and rebuild their marriages into healthy relationships. Couples have different reasons for wanting to remain married. Some want to raise their children in an intact family, others are uncomfortable with change or worry about the financial burden of a divorce, and many still do love their spouses and do not want to end their marriages.

There are effective and ineffective ways to fix a marriage. Below are a few strategies that many couples think will work, but nearly always backfire and accelerate the end of the relationship.


Some couples move to new cities and states as a way to save their marriages because they feel it will be a fresh start for their relationship. But in many of these cases, the couple simply brings the issues they had in their old home to their new one, and old patterns rear up again and drive them apart. Moving to a new place can make a marriage stronger, but only when the move is an active, affirmative choice made by both partners. When it is an attempt to move away from old difficulties, those difficulties have a way of finding the couple again.

Minimizing Conflict

Reducing, not minimizing, the conflict in your marriage will help you rebuild a healthy relationship. When you minimize conflicts, you ignore their causes and pretend the conflicts are not there. This does not end the conflict, but pushes it into the background where it can continue to fester, worsen, and continue to chip away at your relationship with your partner.

Strategies that Can Save Your Marriage

Working with an experienced marital counselor can help you and your spouse identify the difficulties in your marriage and develop healthy, effective ways to manage them. It is unrealistic to think you can have a “perfect” relationship with no conflict whatsoever – every couple fights sometimes, and how you fight is what separates a healthy marriage from a destructive one.

Work with an Experienced St. Charles Divorce Lawyer

If you are at the point where your marriage cannot be saved, it is time to start talking about divorce. Divorce is not a personal failure, but a way to move out of an unhealthy relationship and forward with your own life. Contact our team of experienced Kane County divorce lawyers at Shaw Family Law, P.C. today to set up your initial consultation in our office to talk more about your marriage and your divorce. We are eager to assist you throughout each step of your family law case. Reach out to us today at 630-584-5550 for help.




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