Inching Closer to Divorce
No matter the circumstances, ending a marriage can be a heart-wrenching experience. Knowing when to call to quits is especially difficult, especially when you have invested a significant amount of time with your spouse. Some couples pull the plug at the first sign of serious trouble, while others may wait months, or even years, for the warning signs to appear. Even after those warning signs begin to surface, however, many couples have trouble letting go.
Knowing When Enough Is Enough
The key to deciphering if enough is enough begins with asking yourself if the bad has begun to outweigh the good in your marriage. This can be hard to figure out, especially when there is a plethora of good memories hidden between the clumps of bad times that continue to pile up. Ultimately, though, divorce experts believe one of the most glaring tell-tale signs that a marriage is in trouble is when the good times slowly become fewer and farther between. Taking it a step further, ask yourself if you have recently made any of the following observations about your marriage:
1. You can (and often do) envision life without your spouse - One big warning sign that your marriage is on the rocks is if you can clearly see, and often envision, what your life would look like if you were single, living without your spouse. Not only does it indicate that you are unhappy with your current relationship, it also highlights the fact that the intimacy you once shared with your spouse - including the sharing of feelings, thoughts, and desires - has dissipated. A lack in these areas naturally leads to distance, and distance is not necessarily always a good thing.
2. You feel your spouse has checked out - Many people who go through a divorce or are about to commonly report that they feel completely alone in the relationship, especially when it comes to whatever conflicts they are facing. If you feel an intense lack of support or feel your spouse has been absent in general, there is a good chance your marriage may be on the rocks. The old adage rings true: It takes two to make things work. If you are the only one working to solve the problems and repair your marriage, you may be fighting a losing battle.
3. Intimacy has faded - This applies to both physical and emotional intimacy. When one partner withdraws from the other physically, the partner left behind can experience great difficulty with their overall self-esteem. If you notice that your partner is less affectionate, less attentive, and that your physical intimacy has slowly been waning, these trends may be clues that marital separation is on the horizon. A lessening in physical intimacy often flows in tandem with a breakdown in verbal communication, so if you notice you and your spouse have been talking less and are struggling to communicate, you may eventually see a decline in displays of affection as well.
Divorce is an emotionally turbulent experience for everyone. If you have come to recognize that your marriage is over and you are ready to start the filing process, it is important to speak with a knowledgeable Kane County divorce lawyer as soon as possible to acquire the resources and legal support you will need in a court of law. If you have decided that it is time to move out and move on, call Shaw Sanders, P.C., P.C at 630-584-5550 for a personal consultation today.