Can We Save Our Marriage?
When you are facing difficulties in your marriage, do not jump immediately to divorce. If you and your spouse are willing to put in the work, you can overcome your difficulties and emerge as a stronger couple than you were previously. But this is only possible if you are both committed to trying to save the marriage and even then, sometimes it is simply not possible.
The following four questions can help you and your spouse determine if you can save your marriage. Your answers might surprise you – you could learn something new about yourself or you could find that divorce is the right way to go.
Are You Both Willing to Take Action?
You cannot just stand back and wait for your problems to resolve themselves. You also cannot expect your spouse to do all the work to repair your marriage, even if he or she was the one who cheated or committed another transgression. You both have to be willing to make changes to your lifestyle and seek professional help if necessary.
Are You Both Willing to be Honest?
If you choose to work with a marriage counselor, you have to be honest during your counseling sessions. Honesty with the counselor is honesty with your spouse and with yourself. Reflect on the choices you made as a married individual and how you could have chosen differently. Be honest about your goals and expectations for the future and how you plan to reach those goals.
Can You Communicate Effectively?
If you cannot communicate with your spouse without shouting, cursing, or becoming passive-aggressive, condescending, or cruel, you should not stay married to him or her unless you commit to learning and using healthy communication techniques. Your counselor can help you with this. Effective communication can help you work around the issues that drove you toward divorce. This can help you connect with your spouse again and become excited about staying married.
Why Do You Want to Save Your Marriage?
This is perhaps the most important question to answer because your answer will tell you a lot about how you can save your marriage and whether you even should. Be honest – why do you want to save your marriage? If it is because you feel your children need to grow up in an intact family or that you do not want to disappoint your own parents, staying married now will probably just delay your inevitable divorce. Sometimes, divorce is the healthiest option for a couple and their family. If you want to stay married because you truly love your spouse and see a future with him or her, it could be worthwhile to make the effort to stay in your marriage. This is your future. Work toward the future you want.
Work with an Experienced St. Charles Divorce Lawyer
If you have determined that ending your marriage is the right choice for your family, speak with an experienced Kane County divorce lawyer about moving forward with the process. Contact Shaw Family Law, P.C. at 630-584-5550 today to set up your initial consultation in our office.