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How Does Relocation after Divorce Impact Your Children?
There are countless aspects surrounding the divorce experience that parents are faced with when raising children throughout the separation process. Studies show that children are especially prone to the negative psychological effects that accompany the end of their parents’ marriage, due to the fact that they are still developing and learning to process - and cope with - rapidly changing emotions and circumstances. It is understandable, then, how something as anxiety-inducing as moving during or shortly after divorce can trigger a significant psychological struggle for children.
Moving and Divorce: A Psychological Toll
Recent divorce law changes in the state of Illinois now allow the primary residential parent to relocate with their child after divorce, as long as the move is made within a 25-mile radius. Because of this new guideline, that 25-mile radius can actually mean a jump over the state line, depending on which county you live in. Whether you are moving one neighborhood away or using up those permissible 25 miles, studies indicate that moving after divorce can be unsettling for children and can reap long-term psychological effects.
Illinois Legal Separation Process
If you and your spouse find yourselves in the midst of separating, you, like many couples, may be pondering the advantages and disadvantages of legal separation before divorce. Legal separation serves to outline the rights and responsibilities of each spouse when they are living apart, but are not yet divorced. Living apart for a period of time can be helpful for the couple who wants to try a trial separation before making the decision to call it quits, but doing so can bring about certain financial risks if not addressed properly early on.
Making It Official
If you choose to go the trial separation route, there are certain stipulations that must be met in order to make the separation official by law. Ensuring your separation is legal will help prevent any potential financial risks associated with living apart before you divorce.
The following three main requirements must be met in order to legally separate in the state of Illinois:
Money Management Problems often a Contributor to Divorce
Multiple studies conducted by various experts, over many decades, have revealed the sad truth that serious financial trouble is an overwhelming predictor for separation and divorce for couples around the globe. The American Psychological Association (APA) reports a number of studies that have proven the stress brought on by financial struggle can cause even the strongest relationships to fall apart, making it crucial for everyone, regardless of their income level or line of work, to address their money management habits early on in a marriage.
Clashing Money Management Styles
Looking at the way you and your spouse spend, save, and budget money before the marriage and in the early stages of your union can make a significant difference in how well your relationship fares over time. This is especially important when you and your spouse experience additional stressors throughout the course of your marriage, adding more pressure to the existing tension. Such issues can increase the number of arguments between you and your spouse, and ultimately affect the longevity of your relationship.
Details You Cannot Afford to Neglect When Arranging a Prenup
Although the subject of prenuptial agreements spark ongoing controversy, the reality is such agreements can offer a range of benefits for both parties involved, should a divorce ever take place. When both parties are open and willing to discuss the potential advantages of arranging a prenup, the outcome can bring great peace of mind and provide a clear, organized game plan in the event the marriage comes to an end.
Key Areas to Address
The purpose of a prenup is to prepare for the management and protection of your assets, especially in the event that you and your spouse have difficulty agreeing on the division of those assets during a divorce. Due to the important nature of the agreement, it is crucial to identify which areas require attention as you begin the process of creating the contract. Some areas every couple needs to address include the following:
Debts - The reason for talking about debts with your future spouse is twofold; you both need to know about any existing financial obligations, and you both will also benefit from being transparent regarding any debts that are in your name before you tie the knot. Make a list of everything, including personal and bank-acquired loans, as well as any debts that may currently be in collections.
Key Factors that Influence Your Child’s Post-Divorce Adjustment
Navigating the adjustment period after a divorce is a challenge for everyone at the end of a marriage. Depending on the level of tension and conflict in the relationship, the final unraveling of the union has the potential to wreak a significant amount of emotional damage on each party, and it is only natural for even the most peaceful splits to leave some sort of emotional scarring by the time the divorce is official.
The Psychological Effects
The psychological effects of divorce are just as impactful for children, and in some cases, even more so. This is due in part to the critical developmental periods children go through, such as the early teen years, when their minds and bodies are changing rapidly and drastically. The American Psychological Association reports research that indicates children from divorce tend to experience less financial security and have lower academic achievement, tend to drink and smoke more, and have a harder time finding and keeping jobs.
Studies Reveal Men and Women Negotiate Divorce Settlements Differently
Undoubtedly, when couples decide to file for divorce, two of the most emotionally and mentally draining topics that arise following the decision are the division of property and child custody arrangements. If a couple shares a child, the stress of arranging parenting time is only compounded when the subject of dividing belongings is added to the mix. Everything combined calls for multiple lifestyle changes at once, creating a number of inevitable emotional landmines for everyone involved.
Priorities and Perspectives When Dividing Property
When it comes to dividing property, deciding who gets what after the divorce can be particularly distressing due to the finality that surrounds the task. Splitting belongings is the final step in ending a life that was once shared and beginning a new one, making it an overwhelming, burdensome chore for both parties.
According to studies reported by the American Psychological Association, the moment couples begin weighing the division of property in preparation for a settlement, they approach the subject with different perspectives. These differences ultimately determine their priorities, which often clash when it is time to meet with a mediator or attorney. Studies have shown the following differences between men and women when it is time to negotiate property division:
Fulfilling Child Support Obligations
Undergoing divorce can be a taxing experience for everyone involved, and adding the task of arranging child support obligations to the mix inevitably adds more pressure to both parents. Under even the most civil of circumstances, it is easy for parents to take offense to the other’s reaction to child support payments, and for the obligated parent to feel burdened by the financial strain the support order entails. Once a proper support order is established, however, there is opportunity for everything to run effectively and efficiently, so long as each party cooperates.
The parent who is granted a majority of the parenting time is usually the parent awarded child support payments. If you are a non-custodial parent responsible for making child support payments, the state of Illinois provides you the following options to ensure you are able to pay on time and in full:
Pay the State Disbursement Unit (SDU) by Mail
Blending Families after Divorce
There is nothing easy about the process of blending families after divorce, but thankfully the task is possible with the right approach, direction, and support. Today, more than ever, divorce rates continually illuminate the reality that for many couples,the challenge to merge families after remarriage is incredibly common. Countless people must find ways to come together and recreate their lives post-divorce with their existing children, as well as adjust to any new additions to the family.
Setting Up for Success
As you and your family begin to immerse yourself in a new routine and lifestyle, The American Psychological Association suggests the following to help ensure a healthy transition as you work to blend both families together:
Be clear about financial and living arrangements - Between the time after divorce and a new marriage or live-in partnership, individuals establish their own new routines and practices, including how they handle money and where they choose to live. Once a new marriage is imminent or a new partner is about to move in, those key areas must be revisited and reevaluated. This is especially important when children are involved. The APA encourages adults to discuss and plan how they will spend their money and what their living arrangements will be beforehand, in order to prepare the entire family for any impending changes.
Child Support Order Modifications: Eligibility for Requesting Changes
For many divorced parents, arranging a child support order can be a challenging process. While state programs and public assistance offer a reasonable amount of help, parents can often be at a disadvantage when it comes to obtaining an order and ensuring the payment conditions are met. This is especially the case for high-conflict couples who struggle with communication, anger, and hurt following their divorce. It can be difficult for the custodial parent to know where to turn as they pursue child support, especially when they are unfamiliar or confused about the laws that surround it, and the non-custodial parent can feel overwhelmed and unclear on the control and distribution of their funds.
When Are You Eligible to Request Modifications to an Existing Order?
Once you have done all the footwork and have secured a proper child support order, you may find you need to make changes to that existing order, depending on a number of different circumstances. The court usually looks at two factors in particular when determining whether or not your order is eligible for modification:
Child Custody Modification: Determining a Child’s Best Interest
As divorcing spouses work through the allocation of parental responsibilities (child custody) and parenting time (visitation) arrangements following their separation, there are a number of important areas parents must address in order to protect the best interests of the child. Everything from living and school arrangements to religious upbringing and financial agreements contribute to the production of a solid parenting plan that benefits the whole family.
To create custody and visitation plans that each party can agree on requires a significant amount of evaluation, however. According to Illinois law, the child’s best interests must first be considered to successfully identify which arrangements will work in the family’s favor. The court considers all the following factors when determining the child’s best interest:
Residential Circumstances
The distance between the parents’ houses, each parent’s daily schedule (as well as the child’s schedule), and the general logistics behind transporting the child to and from the parents’ homes are referred to as “residential circumstances” and are examined thoroughly when discussing the allocation of parental responsibilities.
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