What Can I Do if Mediation Is Not Working for My Divorce?
When a couple chooses to divorce through mediation, they work with a neutral third party to develop their divorce settlement. Usually, mediation is a less expensive, less stressful option than divorce in the courtroom.
Mediation only works when a couple is capable of working amicably together. Sometimes, couples who initially think they can mediate their divorce successfully find that it is a much different process than they envisioned. If you face challenges with your mediation, take the following steps to determine your best course of action:
Talk to Your Spouse About Your Issues to Work Them Out
Address your difficulties with your spouse directly. If you feel he or she is not taking the mediation process as seriously as you are or that he or she is not being cooperative, talk about it. Successful mediation is only possible when both partners are willing to communicate and cooperate. Your spouse might not realize he or she is being difficult or stalling the mediation process, or he or she might be unwilling to move forward and actively trying to sabotage it.
The issue could also be with you and your approach to mediation. The only way to determine whether it is worthwhile to continue pursuing mediation is to determine whether you and your spouse are both 100 percent on board with it. If not, mediation is not for you.
Consider Changing Mediators
Mediators are human. Just like you chose your divorce lawyer based on who you felt was the best fit for you, you need to work with a mediator who is a good fit for your divorce. Some mediators are closely involved in their clients’ conversations, directing them at every turn while others take a more laid-back approach, acting more as resources who can answer questions and clarify divorce terms, rather than conversation leaders. If you feel you are no closer to a fair divorce settlement after your first mediation session, consider switching to a different mediator who can move the process forward.
Litigate Your Divorce
You might simply find that mediation is not for you. If this is the case, you will have to change course and take your divorce to court, where your settlement will be determined according to Illinois state laws. When you divorce in the courtroom, you and your spouse have little control over how your property is divided or how other aspects of your settlement are determined. Sometimes, this is the only way to reach a fair divorce settlement.
Work with an Experienced St. Charles Divorce Lawyer
If you are considering completing your divorce through mediation, contact Shaw Sanders, P.C. today to schedule a consultation with an experienced Kane County divorce lawyer, during which you can learn more about the mediation process and determine if it is right for you. Do not wait to start working with a lawyer – you have options when it comes to your divorce, and your divorce can go a lot more smoothly if you understand these options and their potential repercussions. Call us at 630-584-5550 for help.