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IL divorce lawyerThe National Coalition Against Domestic Violence estimates that one in four women and one in nine men have been the victim of violence or stalking at the hands of a romantic partner. Domestic violence affects people of all ages, ethnicities, and income levels. If you have been a victim of domestic violence or abuse at the hands of your spouse, you may be considering divorce. Leaving an abusive spouse takes a tremendous amount of courage. If you are divorcing a spouse who has abused you physically, emotionally, financially, or otherwise, you should know that you do not have to face the divorce process alone. A skilled divorce lawyer can help you with orders of protection, child custody, and child support concerns, property division, and more.

Emergency Orders of Protection

If you are worried that your spouse will react violently when you leave him or her, you may want to obtain an emergency order of protection (EOP), sometimes referred to as a “restraining order.” An EOP is a court order that instructs an abusive spouse or other family member to stay a certain distance away from you, your children, or your workplace or school. EOPs can contain many different types of directions depending on your particular needs. If the abuser violates the terms of the EOP, call the police and he or she will be arrested.

Child Custody Concerns

Child custody and visitation are called “the allocation of parental responsibilities” and “parenting time” in Illinois. If you or your children have been abused by your spouse, it is crucial that you notify the court of this abuse. Illinois courts make all child-related decisions based on the best interests of the child. If you believe that your children will not be safe with your spouse, you can petition the court for the sole responsibility of your child, sometimes called “sole custody.”

Getting a Fair Divorce Settlement

If your spouse tried to manipulate and control you through violence or intimidation during your marriage, it is likely that he or she will try to do so during your divorce as well. It may not be possible for you and your spouse to reach a fair agreement about the terms of your divorce by discussing these issues on your own. Mediation can sometimes help a couple reach an agreement about property division, child custody, child support, and spousal support, but the mediation process is not typically recommended for divorces involving a history of domestic violence or abuse. A lawyer will protect your rights and advocate on your behalf so you receive a fair divorce settlement.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Lawyer

No one deserves to be abused by their spouse. If you are ready to divorce your abusive spouse, contact a St. Charles family law attorney from Shaw Family Law, P.C. for help. We can assist with obtaining an emergency order of protection, petitioning the court for sole custody of your child, fighting for your rights during property division, and more. Call us at 630-584-5550 today to schedule a free, confidential consultation with a compassionate lawyer from our firm.

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Posted on in Family Law

b2ap3_thumbnail_domestic-violence_20180918-213803_1.jpgBattered wife syndrome, also known as battered woman syndrome, does not only affect women. It can affect any domestic violence victim, male or female, who lives with an abusive partner. Domestic violence knows no gender.

Despite the law and the medical community recognizing that a person of any gender can perpetuate and suffer domestic violence, the term “battered woman syndrome” is still frequently used to describe the psychological effects domestic violence can have on a victim.

The Stages of Battered Wife Syndrome

When an individual faces domestic violence, he or she can internalize it and feel like he or she caused it to happen. This internalization and sense of responsibility for the violence is battered wife syndrome. Generally, it follows this pattern:

  • Denial. The victim refuses to accept that he or she is being abused;
  • Guilt. The victim recognizes the abuse and feels he or she caused it;
  • Enlightenment. When the victim realizes he or she did not cause the violence to happen, he or she is in the enlightenment stage; and
  • Responsibility. In this stage, the victim recognizes that only his or her abuser is responsible for the violence. This is where the victim leaves the relationship.

Not all victims make it to the enlightenment stage. Many stay in the guilt stage, feeling like they caused their abuse to happen and trying to be better partners to make the violence stop.

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