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 IL family lawyerParenting is one of the most difficult jobs a person can have, whether or not they have a partner by their side. It can be a tough transition moving from a two-parent household to trying to balance parental responsibilities solo after going through a divorce. Although the initial transition can be difficult, many families are in the same boat. It is more common for children to be raised by single mothers rather than fathers.

According to the 2017 U.S. Census Bureau, one in four children is being raised without a father. This means that out of about 12 million single-parent families with children under the age of 18, more than 80% were headed by single mothers. Whether you are a single mother or a single father, balancing a full-time job and a full-time parenting job is extremely strenuous. Read the following tips to help you save time on an everyday basis:

  • Identify Time: Wasters and Address Them: Create a “key bowl” to avoid struggling to find your keys every morning or use the time spent waiting for your children in the parking lot to catch up on your favorite Netflix show. It is better to utilize this time for your benefit rather than wasting the extra five minutes every day.
  • Use Your Commute Rather than Lose Your Commute: Sitting in the car or on the train ride back from work is a good time for moms and dads to take time for themselves. Listening to an audiobook or podcast on the way home from work can help parents decompress before arriving home to their children.
  • Prepare For Tomorrow, Tonight: Making lunches and setting out clothes for tomorrow can save you ample time in the morning. This is also a good way to eliminate stress about arriving at school or work late.
  • Meal Prep, Meal Prep, Meal Prep: The activity known as meal prep has gone viral with the use of social media. Making meals on the weekends then packing them away in Tupperware can save you lots of time each night, even if you only meal prep one dinner per week. This can save you time grocery shopping at night, the time spent thinking of which recipe you can whip up the fastest, and the actual cooking time. Meal prep allows you to skip the stress and enjoy dinner with your kids.

Contact a St. Charles, Illinois Divorce Attorneys for Help

Divorce is a difficult time in anyone’s life, especially for those who have children. Your life and parenting schedule turns upside down as soon as the signatures are on the paper. At Shaw Family Law, we understand that going through a divorce puts additional stressors on each individuals' lives which is why we strive to take the legal pressure off of your shoulders. Contact our dedicated Kane County divorce attorneys at 630-932-9100 for a free consultation.

 IL family lawyerDeciding to get a divorce is often discussed at length by both spouses. Many couples will make a pro-con list to compare the good things in the relationship to the bad ones. Most parents think that getting a divorce will adversely affect their children; however, this is often not the case. Studies have shown that it is better for children to grow up in a household where they have examples of healthy relationships, even if this means realizing that what is best for their parents is to be apart. Just because this is usually best does not make breaking the news to your children any less difficult. Continue reading to learn about the best way to tell your child that you and your spouse are getting divorced.

Telling Tips

Telling your children that you and your spouse are filing for divorce is difficult no matter the circumstances. The following tips may not make it easier to tell your children the truth; however, it will help your child in the long-run.

  • Tell Your Kids Together: This is a fairly obvious tactic that is crucial while talking to your children about divorce. It can be confusing if one parent shares the information with the child without the other parent being present. This can give children the idea that they are losing a parent rather than adjusting lifestyles.
  • Provide Your Child with Details: Before you have this conversation with your child, the details of the divorce should already have been discussed. For instance, you should be able to tell them who will be living where, what your parenting schedule might look like, and how day-to-day life will go. These do not have to be set in stone but they can help make the child feel less unstable.
  • Rehearse Your Lines: It is advantageous to plan out what you are going to say before speaking to your children. If you do not think about it beforehand, your emotions can get the best of you and you and your spouse’s decision may not be clear enough for the child.
  • Utilize Your Weekends: Hearing the news that your parents are filing for divorce can be confusing and devastating to children. It is best to tell them the news on a weekend day when they can have time to digest and reflect on the information they just received without having to worry about attending school or extracurricular activities.

Contact a St. Charles, IL Divorce Attorney

Divorce is difficult on the personal lives of all those involved. For this reason, it is important to find an experienced divorce attorney to take the legal stresses off of your shoulders. If you are considering divorce, contact a skilled Kane County divorce attorney at 630-584-5550 for a free consultation.

 

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IL family lawyerLife after divorce is filled with various changes. Not only do couples have to learn how to live on their own, but many feel as if they are completely starting over. Though spouses may be adjusting to doing things on their own, parenting does not normally fall under this same category. Parenting after finalizing a divorce is not meant to be done alone. In most cases, judges rule in favor of joint custody in order to keep both parents in the child’s life. Though co-parenting can make things easier for both spouses, it does require adjustments from both parents.

Parenting Styles

There are four different types of parenting styles. Often times people do not realize which parenting style they use until they are parenting primarily alone. Understanding and recognizing your parenting style versus your ex-spouse’s is important in learning how to adjust the ways in which you parent after your divorce.

  • Authoritarian: This style of parenting puts all of the power into the hands of the parents while giving none to the children. Those who use authoritarian parenting are often strict with discipline and communication is primarily one-sided.
  • Permissive: Permissive parents take on a role that is similar to friendship. Though they offer some guidance, these parents allow their children to make many decisions for themselves.
  • Uninvolved: This parenting style does not involve much guidance or “parenting”. These children have complete autonomy and make their own decisions.
  • Authoritative: This style of parenting is known as the happy medium. Parents who utilize this form have a balance between strict discipline and nurturing guidance.

Co-Parenting Tips

While identifying you and your ex’s parenting techniques can be helpful with co-parenting, there are a variety of other ways in which co-parenting can run smoothly.

  • It is important to have uniformity across households. Though your parenting styles may be different, consistency is beneficial in a child’s life. Having the same rules in both houses eliminates many problems regarding what is expected of the child and how you both wish to raise him/her.
  • Agreeing on positive discussion is crucial. Neither spouse should express their negative personal feelings for their ex. This can force children to feel divided between both parents and cause a child to adopt one parent’s opinion of the other.
  • Stay in contact with your ex-spouse. Though there may be tension between you two, it is important to communicate with your child’s other parent to remain fully knowledgeable about their lives. This communication does not necessarily have to be done in person. Many divorced couples rely on phone calls and emails. The form of communication is less important than the overall need to talk.

Contact an Illinois Parenting Agreement Attorney

Co-parenting is a skill that must be learned after the logistics of a divorce are settled. Written parenting plans are an Illinois requirement for those who are granted joint custody. It is important to have an experienced attorney to help make these decisions concrete in the eyes of the court. Shaw Family Law, P.C. has experience in all aspects of the divorce process. Contact our Kane County divorce attorneys for a free consultation at 630-584-5550.

 

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