What Parenting Styles Are Different Between Co-Parents
If anybody told you co-parenting was easy, they were either lying to you or woefully misinformed. Co-parenting with your former partner can be quite a challenge after your divorce, even if the divorce itself was fairly amicable. When your parenting styles differ, it can be difficult to find a “middle ground” that serves your children in terms of structure, expectations, discipline, and parental involvement in your children’s daily lives. But difficult does not mean impossible. You can work cooperatively with your former spouse to co-parent your children, but you both have to be willing to be flexible. Keep the following in mind as you, your former spouse, and your children settle into their new parenting plan.
Communicate Your Concerns
Put your negative feelings toward your former spouse aside and talk to him or her about your children. If you have concerns about the way he or she is parenting your children, discuss them. You should not feel entitled to control how your former spouse parents your children, but you should also feel comfortable raising concerns with him or her and expect that your concerns be validated.
Be Willing to Be Flexible
Adjusting to life with a parenting plan is a big change for every member of your family. The reality of life with a parenting plan could look very different from the lifestyle you envisioned, and when this is the case, be willing to adjust your expectations and adapt your lifestyle to your children’s needs. After all, your child’s parenting plan is for his or her benefit, not yours or your former spouse’s.
Determine What Is Best for Your Child
Take the time to learn about the different parenting style archetypes and determine where your parenting style fits. Your child might react better to one parenting style than another, and to be a more effective parent, you could have to adjust your parenting style to fit his or her personality and needs better.
Determining what is best for your child also means taking a critical look at your lifestyle. Just like you expect your former partner to be receptive to your concerns, you have to be receptive to his or hers. Take your former partner’s thoughts regarding your parenting plan seriously and work together to create a set of rules and a consistent routine that suits your child’s needs.
Above all, keep your disagreements with your former spouse between you. Exposing your child to your conflicts is not healthy for him or her, nor is speaking negatively about your former partner, the court, or the parenting plan in place.
Work with an Experienced St. Charles Family Lawyer
Discuss parenting plans, how they are developed, and how you effectively co-parent with your former spouse after your divorce during your initial consultation with an experienced Kane County family lawyer. To start working with our firm, contact Shaw Sanders, P.C. to set up your initial consultation in our office. Call us at 630-584-5550 for help today.