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IL divorce lawyerMany people assume that the decision to end their marriage is the most difficult part of divorce. Unfortunately, many divorcing spouses find that reaching an agreement about the terms of their divorce is just as challenging. When divorcing spouses disagree about child custody, property and debt division, alimony, and other aspects of their divorce, they have several options. One of these options is to attend family law mediation and work with a specially-trained mediator in an effort to reach a resolution. However, mediation is not effective or even appropriate in every case.

What Happens During Mediation?

Reaching an agreement about divorce issues is often the biggest obstacle divorcing spouses must overcome. When a divorcing couple cannot reach a decision on their own, they may choose to go to mediation. Family law mediation may also be ordered by a judge. During mediation, the couple works with a neutral third party called a mediator. The mediator does not choose one spouse’s side over the other or tell the couple how to resolve their differences. The mediator’s role is instead to help guide the conversations and negotiations so that they are as productive as possible. The mediator may help the couple stay focused on the task at hand and avoid arguing about unrelated issues. The mediator may point out any common ground that the spouses share and suggest potential compromises. However, reaching an agreement is ultimately up to the spouses themselves. Many spouses find that this extra assistance is what they need to reach an out-of-court agreement and avoid divorce litigation.

Limitations of Mediation

It is very important to note that mediation is not the appropriate way to resolve divorce issues in every case. If you and your spouse own complex assets such as a business, have an especially high net worth or are in the midst of complicated financial struggles, mediation alone may be insufficient. Mediation may be inappropriate if there has been a history of domestic violence, abuse, or large power discrepancies in the relationship. It is also important to remember that a mediator is not the same thing as a lawyer. Only someone licensed to practice law can provide legal advice or represent you during a legal proceeding. However, there are some lawyers who also act as mediators.

Contact a Kane County Mediation Lawyer

If you are ready to end your marriage and you want to learn more about the best way to do so, contact a St. Charles divorce attorney from Shaw Family Law P.C. Attorney Matt Shaw has served as a mediator and a Guardian ad Litem and is qualified to assist with a wide range of family law matters. Call our office at 630-584-5550 and set up your confidential consultation today.

 

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IL divorce lawyerDivorce can sometimes make individuals much more stubborn and argumentative than they would normally be. If you are considering divorce, you may have concerns about how you and your spouse will reach an agreement about how to divide your property, share custody of your children, or how to handle other divorce issues. Family law mediation is a process during which a divorcing couple meets with a mediator to discuss unresolved divorce issues. If you are thinking about mediation, you may have many questions about what the process entails or how the mediator will actually help.

A Mediator Helps Facilitate Productive Conversation

Mediators receive special training in conflict resolution and family law. They know how to help couples discuss issues without getting caught up in arguments, irrelevant details, or off-topic conversations. The purpose of a mediator is not to tell you how to handle your divorce or to favor one spouse over the other. The mediator will simply guide the conversation, help ensure that both spouses are given the opportunity to speak and facilitate productive negotiations. He or she may point out common ground and help the spouses find solutions that they can both agree to. If the conversation begins to get heated, the mediator may suggest a quick break or change of subject until the spouses cool down and are able to discuss the issues with a clear head. Many couples find that mediation allows them to reach a resolution about the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, division of assets and debts, and other divorce concerns without needing to go to trial.

Mediators are Bound to Confidentiality

Many people are hesitant to reach out to a mediator for help resolving their divorce issues because they are worried about confidentiality. After all, it is likely that you will be discussing private financial information and matters that are very personal in nature. You may worry that the mediator will share this private information with others or that what you say will be used against you if the case does end up going to litigation. Fortunately, mediation is a confidential process. The mediator does not share what is said during mediation – even if you are unable to reach a resolution about divorce issues and the case goes to trial. The only exceptions to the confidentiality requirement occur when a parent makes a serious allegation of child abuse or threatens to commit a crime.

Contact a St. Charles Family Law Attorney

Mediation may help you and your soon-to-be ex-spouse reach an agreement about the allocation of parental responsibilities, parenting time, property division, and more. However, mediation is not appropriate in every divorce case. If you would like to learn more about mediation, contact Shaw Family Law, P.C. Illinois divorce lawyer Matt Shaw is also qualified to serve as a mediator and has helped many couples successfully negotiate divorce issues. Schedule a free, confidential consultation by calling our office today at 630-584-5550.

 

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Selecting your legal team for your divorce is one of the most important steps that you can take. Without adequate legal assistance, you may not receive proper alimony, child support, or custody when you and your former spouse’s belongings get divvied up. Most couples getting divorced will each select their own attorney who will then work solely in the best interests of the spouse that hired them. Because this is a common choice for many divorces, some couples do not realize that alternative options exist. Divorce mediation has become increasingly popular as modern times have removed the age-old negative stigma that used to surround the idea of divorce.

What Is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is an alternative to divorce litigation. Divorce mediators are typically a branch of attorneys at a law firm that specializes in both litigation and mediation. A mediator is a neutral third-party that meets with both spouses to make divorce arrangements. Unlike common divorce proceedings, the goal of mediation is to come to an agreement together rather than having two opposing sides pitted against each other.

This divorce process is commonly chosen by couples that are having an amicable divorce. In other words, divorce mediation only works for couples that can do not have grievances against each other and have come to the mutual decision that divorce would be best for them both. This is not always possible which is why mediation only works for some couples. The purpose of the third-party is not to take one side over the other or add their input. They act as a middle ground with legal knowledge and experience in order to conduct the legal process when the agreements have been finalized by both parties.

Why Would I Choose Mediation Over Litigation?

As previously noted, mediation can be a lower conflict way to finalize your divorce; however, this is only the case with some parties. Divorce mediation can be cheaper for each spouse since a single legal team is involved rather than two opposing attorneys. The process can also be quicker depending on the length of time it takes for both spouses to come to an agreement. Divorce mediation often takes an average of 3 to 5 months to complete whereas divorce litigation can take over a year to complete. Those who decide that divorce mediation is best will also reduce the number of court filings required for their divorce to be finalized. Divorce mediation is a good alternative to litigation as it can foster a good co-parenting relationship in the future or a positive parting with an amicable sense of closure.

Contact a Kane County Divorce Mediation Attorney for Help

Divorce mediation is a good alternative that is often overlooked or unknown by couples seeking divorce. At Shaw Family Law, P.C., we offer both divorce litigation and mediation in order to serve and accommodate couples with all different types of relationships. If you are looking for alternative options for your divorce, contact St. Charles, IL divorce mediation attorneys at 630-584-5550 for a free consultation.

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Posted on in Divorce

IL divorce lawyerDivorce is commonplace in today’s society. Many families go through this legal process and some even have to sign the papers multiple times. Like the statistics say, 50% of marriages end in divorce. Though high-conflict divorce is seen on television and social media every day, divorce is not always conducted through a screaming match. Some couples divorce due to infidelity or constant arguing; however, two of the most common reasons for divorce are lack of intimacy and not being prepared for marriage. Divorce may not be pleasant for any of the parties involved, but getting a divorce does not mean you hate your spouse. Learn about the two types of divorce and the common options available to those going through the ending of a marriage.

Contested Divorce

This is the type of divorce often televised or included in movie plotlines. A contested divorce occurs when neither party can come to an agreement about the terms and details of the divorce. This includes the division of assets, allocation of debts, alimony, child support, or child custody. Those going through a contested divorce will find themselves arguing in court, in front of a judge. Because of the lack of agreement between the parties, a judge will make the decisions for the couple, by taking all aspects of their relationship, family, and financial situation into consideration. This takes away all forms of decision making from the divorcing couple and places it into the hands of the judge. Often times, couples will begin the divorce process in a contested manner but eventually come to agreement to save themselves from enduring a divorce in front of a court.

Uncontested Divorce

An uncontested divorce is one of agreement and compromise. Those going through an uncontested do not necessarily have to “get along” but they do need to be able to come to a conclusion on matters such as division of assets, allocation of debts, alimony, child support, or child custody. Though this may not be an easy task, learning to compromise can save couples from wasted time and money. Many couples going through an uncontested divorce seek divorce mediation. The purpose of divorce mediation is for the couple to decide on the terms of their divorce with the helping hand of a divorce attorney. The lawyer is not there to act as a referee between arguments, but rather to legally record the terms of the divorce while acting as a neutral negotiator between the two parties. Though mediation does not work for all couples, it is a good option for those going through an uncontested divorce. Not only does it save time and money, but it also allows for the couple to sustain an amicable relationship after the ending of their marriage.

Legal Assistance

Regardless of the type of divorce you and your spouse are involved in, an experienced divorce attorney is necessary to ensure fairness and equality in the terms of the divorce. At Shaw Family Law, P.C., we have experience with both contested and uncontested divorces. We also have mediation attorneys available to couples seeking a conversational format for their divorce process. Contact our skilled Kane County divorce attorneys at 630-584-5550 for a free consultation to discuss your options for divorce.

 

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IL family lawyerWhen a couple chooses to divorce through mediation, they work with a neutral third party to develop their divorce settlement. Usually, mediation is a less expensive, less stressful option than divorce in the courtroom.

Mediation only works when a couple is capable of working amicably together. Sometimes, couples who initially think they can mediate their divorce successfully find that it is a much different process than they envisioned. If you face challenges with your mediation, take the following steps to determine your best course of action:

Talk to Your Spouse About Your Issues to Work Them Out

Address your difficulties with your spouse directly. If you feel he or she is not taking the mediation process as seriously as you are or that he or she is not being cooperative, talk about it. Successful mediation is only possible when both partners are willing to communicate and cooperate. Your spouse might not realize he or she is being difficult or stalling the mediation process, or he or she might be unwilling to move forward and actively trying to sabotage it.

The issue could also be with you and your approach to mediation. The only way to determine whether it is worthwhile to continue pursuing mediation is to determine whether you and your spouse are both 100 percent on board with it. If not, mediation is not for you.

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b2ap3_thumbnail_mediator.jpgOnce you and your spouse have determined that you are a good fit for divorce mediation, you need to find a mediator who is a good fit for you. In order to find the right mediator for your case, you will need to do some research. Look up divorce mediators in your area and read their reviews online. Schedule a consultation with a few mediators to get a better sense of each of their approaches to the mediation process and how they can help you. Arrive at each consultation with the following questions prepared:

What Will It Cost to Work with You?

The average divorce mediation costs $7,000. That might sound like a lot, but compare it to the average cost of divorce litigation: $25,000 or more.

Ask your prospective mediator what it will cost to work with him or her before you sign a contract to work together. He or she should be able to give you a reasonable quote that you can compare with other mediators’ costs.

How Do You Conduct Mediation Sessions?

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Illinois divorce lawyerNo matter how you approach your divorce, you will need to work through the division of your marital property. When you divorce through mediation, a neutral third party guides you and your spouse through each issue to be resolved and finalized in your divorce settlement. For many couples, the division of their marital property is the most complex of these issues.

Before you begin working with a mediator, talk to your lawyer about how you should approach your property division. You will need to be your own advocate during the mediation meetings, which can be confusing and overwhelming if you do not completely understand why a specific breakdown of your marital assets is in your best interest.

What Are Your Current Financial Needs?

If you do not make enough money to cover your home’s mortgage and property tax payments on your own, it is probably not in your best interest to fight to retain the house. In this scenario, you might see a much greater benefit by selling the home and splitting the profit with your former spouse. If you receive spousal maintenance, this could be a consideration in your property division. If you are a parent, your parenting plan could also be a point to consider when dividing your assets.

Think of the Future

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Illinois mediation attorneyWhen you decide to use mediation, rather than litigation, to end your marriage, you and your spouse can save yourself a significant amount of time and money. Although mediation is often “easier” than completing a courtroom divorce, it is not without its demands on the divorcing couple. You have certain responsibilities to uphold while you work through your divorce, which include the following:

Provide All Relevant Documents to Divide Your Marital Assets

Division of your marital assets will likely be the most time-consuming portion of your divorce. Make this part as straightforward as you can by coming to your mediation sessions with all your relevant documents handy. These might include:

  • A recent appraisal of your home;
  • Statements for your financial accounts;
  • Pay stubs;
  • An itemized list of your tangible assets and their values; and
  • Your most recent tax returns.

Acknowledge Your Spouse’s Concerns and Goals

Mediation only works if both parties are willing to work together. One of your responsibilities during mediation is to acknowledge your spouse’s position and even if you do not agree with it, validate his or her point of view. That is the position from which he or she is approaching the divorce and you, as the other party involved, must be willing to acknowledge this and work with him or her to reach an equitable settlement.

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Illinois divorce attorneyEvery marriage, and by extension, every divorce, is unique. Some divorces are resolved fairly quickly while others drag on for months, even years. Some couples divorce at the first sign of marital discord whereas others suffer for decades before choosing to end their broken relationships. For many couples, mediation is a positive alternative to the traditional courtroom divorce. With mediation, the couple works with a mediator to reach a fair divorce settlement through a series of guided discussions. A few benefits of mediation are:

Couples Who Mediate Retain a Greater Level of Control

In a courtroom divorce, the partners and their lawyers present their arguments but ultimately, the court has control over the final outcome. This is not the case with mediation. In mediation, the couple works with the mediator to reach agreements for each aspect of their divorce settlement, giving each the opportunity to advocate for his or her goals the other a way to negotiate them.

Mediation Saves Money for Everybody

Lawyer fees are expensive. Generally, divorcing through litigation requires individuals to spend a lot of time with their lawyers, often costing them tens of thousands of dollars by the time the divorce is finalized. Saving money makes the divorce process less stressful, which leads to other benefits like a greater willingness to compromise.

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